Monday, 5 September 2011

Birds of a feather flock together, really?

I’ve always had an issue with the saying, “birds of a feather flock together”.  I’ve always just told myself that it must be referring to birds only; it has to be, because with humans it’s not always the case.  People don’t always befriend those that are like themselves or those with same or similar interests.  They say opposites attract right? So how can opposites be of the same feather?
Take me for example I’ve never been one with the pack. I’ve never fully fit in; I was never a bird of the same feather as my friends.  I could go way back with this, like back but then I’d go on the whole day, so let’s go a few years back, back to high school rather.  We’ll start in grade 8 when I was at Pearson High School.  When I got to Pearson I didn’t have to go out and look for new friends because I had already had friends who had come to Pearson with me from my primary school.  There was quite a bunch of us that went on to Pearson, so finding new friends would just be for fun.  Then a few months in the year the big group split into smaller groups and the black girls had their clique, the white girls had theirs and so did the colored girls.  When the group split I found myself floating, I didn’t know where to go because I just did not fit in a hundred percent with any of these groups.  When we were a big group I fit in because there was a variety of personalities and mindsets. With the smaller groups, everyone was just the same, and they all thought the same.  The cliques had ring leaders which didn’t go well with me, so I just floated between the crews and just hung out with whoever I felt like being with at a time.  They are all still my friends but hanging out together like that just didn’t work out.
Then grade 10 at Gill College where I was a total outsider, where finding things I had in common with the other girls was a mission.  At first, our grade and the sports we played were the only things that I had in common with them.  Then gradually other things started popping up but it was never that instant click one has with a friend/s.  This clique befriended me, they tried to make me fit in but it never worked.  They were of the naughty kind.  The kind that broke all the rules; the kind that would lie to matron at hostel to go to a party; go out drinking and lie to their parents to get money for alcohol.  They would even go as far as lying to their parents about having a camp to go to - to get money from them – just so they can go partying in East London or wherever they felt like.  These girls were bad asses while I was not even remotely close to them.  I was basically the dove among vultures with this crew but I love those girls.  I never took part in their “fun” –because I’m not crazy- but they would come back, tell me everything that had happened, we’d laugh and it would be like I was with them the time they were gone.  They were and still are my friends regardless of our differences.  
My circle of friends now, is not like me in so many ways or I’m not like them in so many ways.  We are all so different; comparing us to a box of smarties would not be fitting because smarties are more similar than we are.  Referring to us as a box of Bakers All sorts biscuits would be more fitting.   We obviously have things in common such as: we are all social butterflies, we love going out, shopping, laughing, having fun and being happy etc. but we are just so different.  I honestly don’t know how we manage to keep our friendship going because one is a “in your face” type of girl, she will chop u up in pieces if you step on her foot; the other is the total opposite, she will sit and let people walk all over her and just keep it to herself; the other is just plain crazy, she does whatever comes to mind first and the last is a thinker, an analyst, much like me.  She is straight forward, not pretentious, generous and enjoys playing hostess.  I’m a think, an analyst, I like thinking before doing (well most of the time) I am very nice (so I think) I love power and I always try to keep the peace. I absolutely adore this bunch. I swear the Lord randomly picked our names out of a hat and decided that we will be friends.  These phly birds are not of the same feather but they sure flock together, all day every day.  Guess there has to be a new saying, or the saying has to have some kind of clause stating “not applicable to humans” well, not all humans at least.

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