Procrastination

Hello, my name is Mtha Headbush and I am a procrastinator.  I don’t know when this disease started but when I got it, I got it bad.  I have tried using medication and many remedies to cure this illness, but it does not escape me, it refuses to leave me alone! It’s like a mosquito buzzing around your ear on a hot summer night, you try smack it away but it just keeps coming back, the persistent bustard! When you really irritated you get up, switch the light on to see the bugger so you can brutally murder it.  You run and jump around the room for a good couple of minutes trying to catch the thing.  When you think you have butchered the little man you merrily get back in to bed and seconds later the damn pest comes back!  Now imagine the mosquito experience but worse and you’ll have a slight idea of what I’m dealing with here. 

Procrastination is putting off something, it is postponing.  It is for example - what I am queen at - , putting an assignment off to do other things.  If procrastination was TB the sixty-day treatment would not even cure me.   I don’t know where it came from, don’t know if I contracted it or inherited it.  All I know is that the day of my diagnosis my world changed.  It stopped being the peaceful and orderly world it was; it became something else. 

While on the internet the other day google-ing ways to cure this condition I have, I stumbled upon an interesting article.  This article was life changing; it was revolutionary in my life.  It gave a different perspective on how to approach my disease.  It showed me that I can live a full life; I can be a proud and successful procrastinator.  I found that procrastination, -like all things in this world- is not one sided, it is not all bad.  I learnt that there are three variants of procrastination, depending on what you do instead of working on something: you could work on (a) nothing, (b) something less important, or (c) something more important.  The last type I’d argue is good procrastination.  I’m for the most part a type B procrastinator, which is said to be the most dangerous form of procrastination.  It is unacknowledged because it doesn’t feel like procrastination.  It is getting things done, just not the right things.   I am also a at type A at times but since I’ve learnt that there are other ways, ways to better myself I’m now working towards being a type C.  At least then I’ll be living life positively positive; all I need do is work at it like a crack addict.

Follow the heart

Grab every opportunity by both hands; do what you love; follow your heart, such clichés.  It’s funny how when we hear such things being said we roll our eyes and carry on with life, not even taking a second to really think about them.  Its funny how we say, “arg typical” when people we look up to say such lines when interviewed.  All these are whack lines celebrities use to score points with fans.  We believe all this till one of the oh so cliché sayings become reality in your life.

I started dancing again two to three weeks back.   I used to dance in primary and early high school, then I don’t know what happened but I stopped dancing completely.  A few weeks back a girl, Matsepo approached me, asking me if I wanted to dance with her and some other girls at Mr. and Mrs. NMMU.  I was so shocked, this was so unexpected and no one at varsity had ever seen me dance so I didn’t know where she would get the idea that I dance.  I got tongue tired at the question mark of this question, I didn’t know what to say.  I had so many questions rushing through my mind all at once but the word yes stood out.  Then the words, “I don’t know, I’ll have to sleep on it” weaseled their way out my mouth. 

I slept on it and came back the next day having decided that no, I won’t do it.  I mean I hadn’t danced in such a long time and I didn’t know the latest dance moves and all the other negatives I could think of to justify my reply.  I made my way to Matsepo and when she asked me what the verdict was, I found myself saying yes.  I was so confused, that’s not what I wanted to say, why was my mouth saying things it’s not instructed to say? I wanted to take it back but huge smile Matsepo had on her face told me there’s no turning back now.  I stuck around, attended practice and I had a blast; I enjoyed every minute of practice and every minute of dancing. 

The practices went on and our dance was coming together nicely.  The days quickly drew closer to the performance day and the nerves started surfacing.  The actual day came and the countdown till kill time began.  People started getting paranoid and thinking of rubbish such as falling off stage, falling on your face on stage, forgetting moves etc.  The time came, the music started, the lights went crazy and we were on.  As soon as I stepped foot on that stage and heard all the screams my nerves left the building.  I had fun with it and did my thing.  Knowing me I obviously made a boo – boo but it was no biggie because I made it with confidence.  I held my head up high and acted as if the mistake I made was part of the choreography.  When I got off that stage I was on such a high, I wanted to go back; to think that my initial plan was to decline the offer. 

I’m glad my mouth spoke out of turn when it said yes I’ll dance.  I’m glad I reconnected with this thing I love so much. After this experience I found myself nodding in interest when one mentions the oh so cliché sayings.  This is not the reach for your dreams cliché, it’s not the grab every opportunity one either; it’s more like the follow your heart and do what you love.  So I’m doing just that and I’m seeing myself into pure happiness. 

Cant Dealz

Is there an agency out there where one can find themselves a new parent? I’m looking for a mother, one like mine with a little added extra. I really would not mind not having mine right now.

So end of last month I received my pocket money, always the highlight of my month. I am a spender right, I never save. I love buying, I can’t control myself, it’s this bad habit I have. This month, I told myself that I need to be disciplined with my money, I need to draw up a budget and stick to it. Mind you I always draw up a budget, every month but sticking to it is a mission I always fail miserably. I can never stick to it. This month I need to have my money because it’s my aunts wedding Saturday (17 Sept) and I’m planning to go all out.

I devised a plan that would help with my blowing money fast (BMF) problem. I’d borrow trustworthy people the money that I would use to buy my wedding items. I would borrow them the money and they would give it back just before the wedding so I don’t spend any of it before the actual wedding. So I did this; I borrowed my mother some and I borrowed someone else some (lets call her Jenny). Both these people knew what the agreement was, they knew why I was borrowing them such huge amounts and we agreed nicely and all was good. The first week went by, and then the second followed, which is this week. Jenny has paid me back my money, all of it. She paid it back earlier on this week. My mother on the other hand, the person that one would trust more, since she is my mother and she knows exactly what the plan was hasn’t!

Its Thursday the 15th now and tomorrow morning is the only time I will get to go shopping because I have other commitments that will take my whole tomorrow. She knows this very well and she still doesn’t say a word about my money. I decide to have a little meeting, a one on one, a bank manager to customer kind of meeting to enquire about her payment plan. Now I feel like a loan shark going to an old granny wanting her pension cards and ID because she can’t pay off her debt. I sit her down and the debt collector conversation went something along the lines of “uhm… It’s Thursday today”
Mom: yes?
Me: so you do realize I have to do my wedding shopping first thing tomorrow morning
Mom: yes?
Me: what I’m trying to say is, I want my money back
Mom: oh, hayi Mtha. You know I don’t have money right now and (I just zoned out after she said those few words) all I heard was “you going to look like a grenade Mtha, you going to look like a weapon of mass destruction, jump off a bridge, you might as well die before you kill everyone else with some hideous outfit you going to wear at the wedding.”
At this stage a big kha-mey-ha-mey-ha (a Dragon Ballz term) was forming in my mind. I was fuming with anger and a pool of other emotions. Then she still has the nerve to act like the victim in the situation! Then she takes me on this first class guilt trip that I’ve become so immune to because I’ve heard it so many times.

While she was going on and on I just fumed. I just can’t understand and I don’t want to understand, I just want what’s mine. Now I’m haunted by flashes in my head of me at the wedding wearing some old ugly thing I have in my wardrobe that’s going to make me look like a fish that’s been put in the desert to hang with the camels. In the back of my mind I’m hoping she will come pop her head by my door and say “just kidding”. If that doesn’t happen I swear I won’t go to the wedding and ill cry. I swear this woman was put on this earth to depress me.

P.S. I would really like to know where one can buy the parenting manual because I would like to study for the tests parents put us through.